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Monday, January 05, 2004
Bad boy ~ Olivia Goldsmith 


Author : Olivia Goldsmith
Title : Bad Boy


It's a romance alrite. But heck, Olivia Goldsmith is a New York Times Bestselling Author and earning more bucks than me. Probably, it's more worthwhile to write romances and get paid for it rather than reviewing the book. The market for romances is HUGE with many a hungry housewives and young teenagers devouring them voraciously.

ANYWAY, this is suppose to be a review instead of me moaning and groaning about my financial status. Who is Olivia Goldsmith? Well, she wrote a book titled 'The First Wives Club' which went on to become a movie. Who knows if 'Bad Boy' will turn out the same way?

It's set in modern day Seattle where we are introduced to the heroine, Tracie, who has a habit of using Post-IT notes as reminders for everything and always with a string of bad relationships. Her EXTREME soft spot is for CLASSIC BAD BOYS, defined by her 10 golden rules on how to BE one :


Rule #1
Never offer them anything. Make them offer.
Rule #2
Never show them where you live.
Rule #3
No sports jackets. Ever. And no checks or plaids-any color you want, as long as it's black.
Rule #4
It's all in the pants. Forget khakis. Forget pleats.
Rule #5
Wear either throwbacks from thrift stores or really expensive Italian clothes. And mix them. Do on-line shopping only if you want to have on-line sex.
Rule #6
No sandals. (Unless you think Jesus had a hot social life).
Rule #7
Don't tell them what you do for work. Tell them you're in sales. Let them figure out if it's drugs or rebuilt engines.
Rule #8
No glasses. Not even Elvis Costello ones. It doesn't matter if you're flying blind because scars are a real turn-on.
Rule #9
No shaving-exchept once every three days. (Showing up at work looking rumpled or hungover will make women wonder about your private life.)
Rule #10
Always carry a motorcycle helmet. Even if you don't have a motorcycle.


Her best pal, Jon (yes, the guy Jon), then asked her to help remodel him in order to get the gal. Note, it is THE GAL and not her. He is the good guy though. Conscientious, he gives flowers to all his father's wives and remembers their birthdays and Mother's Day. Yet, Tracie doesn't seem him in that light even though he loves her to bits. So, he goes elsewhere to look for another lady to fill in her shoes. And that's where dear Tracy helps him out.

Here's a portion from his makeover at the hairdressers :


Oh God! He'd become Sonic the Hedgehog. His hair stood in spikes. The Demon Barber should have just killed me, he thought, and he put his hands over his skull protectively. Stefan, the albino Edward Scissorhands, took the last couple of snippets from Jon's new, totally renovated head.

...

"It's going to be the best two hundred dollars you ever spent!" she told him.

"Two hundred dollars!" Jon gasped. Then he looked at Stefan and the razor and swallowed. He figured it was better than getting mugged, though just as expensive.


I enjoyed the book but sort of regretted buying it. Should have bought it used for US$0.01! Still, it was an enjoyable read and definitely a humourous look at real life. Modern day romances are more realistic now than it ever has been. Better yet, they are becoming more and more humourous. Including this one.

So, if you want to become a BAD BOY guys, follow the rules above!

Wena Tan  # 9:49 PM
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